Resume Quotations

• "I am very detail-oreinted."

• "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."

• "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."

• "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."

• "Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."

• "Special skills: Thyping."

• "References: Leanne Kaye-Deceased Nov. 14, 1997."

• "I will take the chaos of your office and reform it into a semblance of simple disorder"

• "You will always find me to be an extremely trying person"

• "I can play well with others."

• "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."

• "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."

• "I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis."

• "I love dancing and throwing parties."

• "I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."

• "I am a rabid typist."

• "Special Skills: Speak English."

• "Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

• "Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984."

• "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."

• "Personal Qualities: Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year."

• "I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise."

• "Personal: Married 20 years; own a home, along with a friendly mortgage company."

• "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

• "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business."

• "Interests: I like to workout in my free time. I enjoy listening to music. I love to shopping in new places."

• "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

• "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math."

• "Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law."

• "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

• "Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date."

• "It's best for employers that I not work with people."

• "If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope."

• "You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!"

• "I am sicking and entry-level position."

• "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

• "I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated."

• "I am relatively intelligent, obedient, and as loyal as a puppy."

• "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

• "My primary goal is to be recognized."

• "Below are the top 10 reasons to hire me."

• "I am superior to anyone else you could hire."

• "I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live."

• "I worked here full-time there."

• "I'll starve without a job but don't feel you have to give me one."

• "You are privileged to receive my resume."

"Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods."
Japanese proverb

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