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Take a break and smile!
Sometimes we need to slow down and take a minute for ourselves in the middle of our hectic working days. Below you will find quotations taken from resumes and cover letters from all over the country. Take a break, smile and make sure you don't repeat these mistakes in your resume!
Feel free to send funny stories about your business-scientific-learning experiences or jokes that made you laugh to the offshore-environment and may be you will see them soon on our pages.
- "I am very detail-oreinted."
- "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
- "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
- "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
- "Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."
- "Special skills: Thyping."
- "References: Leanne Kaye-Deceased Nov. 14, 1997."
- "I will take the chaos of your office and reform it into a semblance
of simple disorder"
- "You will always find me to be an extremely trying person"
- "I can play well with others."
- "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's
girlfriend could steal my job."
- "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
- "I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis."
- "I love dancing and throwing parties."
- "I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."
- "I am a rabid typist."
- "Special Skills: Speak English."
- "Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."
- "Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984."
- "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually
- "Personal Qualities: Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven
days a week, 365 days a year."
- "I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and
- "Personal: Married 20 years; own a home, along with a friendly
- "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability
to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
- "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate
- "Interests: I like to workout in my free time. I enjoy listening to
music. I love to shopping in new places."
- "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
- "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective
management skills; and very good at math."
- "Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the
ground up using my father-in-law."
- "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
- "Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date."
- "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
- "If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the
- "You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!"
- "I am sicking and entry-level position."
- "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
- "I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated."
- "I am relatively intelligent, obedient, and as loyal as a puppy."
- "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
- "My primary goal is to be recognized."
- "Below are the top 10 reasons to hire me."
- "I am superior to anyone else you could hire."
- "I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live."
- "I worked here full-time there."
- "I'll starve without a job but don't feel you have to give me one."
- "You are privileged to receive my resume."
"Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods."
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